I have been going to satsang for many, many years and I have read more than 100 books on spirituality and yet I often wonder why I bother. Sometimes I get some relief through the spiritual community, but mostly it seems more a way to spend time than it is useful.

Why should I bother with the spiritual search?

Well… why bother indeed? But try "stopping".

Long ago I read that when you begin a spiritual journey, there's no turning back.

At the time I thought it meant that you shouldn't begin the journey unless you were willing to really commit to it. Eventually I discovered that it instead meant that even if you do "turn back", what you learned will forever light your life (however dim it may appear).

For some, the "process" takes such a hold of them that they no longer can turn back. There is an experience that can range from the quiet... to the ferocious and it can appear as if it is grabbing the ego (the "me") and slowly devouring it, one subtle (or not so subtle!) bite at a time.

I'm not a big fan of "reasons" or of definitive will. You are asking a question, expressing a doubt. To me that suggests that it's too late; You're already hooked.

By definition, a seeker is seeking some thing. Some seek relationships, power, stability, or wealth (etc). Eventually some may begin to seek relief from the inevitable disappointments and that often leads to the beginning of what is commonly called the "spiritual search".

Some spiritual seekers might say they are seeking understanding or even "enlightenment". Others simply to ease suffering and still others may have no idea why they are seekers. Many may be on the quest in an effort to re-live past experiences, perhaps had at some distant retreat or during a moment of meditation. Yet regardless, all seekers are seeking, seeking some thing. And no matter how many times they read that what they seek can't be found, most misunderstand those words.

We could say that all the seeking is simply an inner knowing returning to the light of conscious being. We could call it a dance. We could call it a game. We could call it a conceptual potpourri. It doesn't matter what we call it… maybe calling it "curiosity" is enough. For some, this "search" happens with little efforts, for others it is effort full.

If you find yourself bored with the whole conversation, then trust that. Trust it. Perhaps walk away. Or turn somewhere else. Maybe all the words in the books and talks are no longer necessary. Maybe a break is necessary. Maybe your own knowing needs to stew. Maybe you need to reinterpret what you have heard, this time with less mind and more heart. Or maybe the frustration you experience is necessary and through the haze of it, it is already guiding you.

As unsatisfying as this may sound, you will do whatever it is … well, whatever it is that you will do. All paths are direct. They really are. (... and when that makes sense, laughter will likely appear.)

There is no right way. There is no way. None. This is it. When we stop trying to find a way and discover that the current "movement" is enough, the world begins to crumble.

You asked the question - so clearly there is a curiosity. What is that curiosity? What is wanting to be seen? Where is the question coming from? Where is seeking coming from? Is the question really the question you are wanting to ask?

As seekers, we reject what is being pointed to. It is this rejection that maintains the appearance of the apparent separate self. And while that may seem to be nonsensical (or circular), can you really refute that you already are?

Being is all that is know. So why not be what you know?

As seekers we say "I" want to understand and quite bizarrely we don't recognize that it is the maintenance of the the "I" that "prevents" understanding. Somehow we believe that this conceptual "I" (the "me" thought) can know something.

Can the word "rock" know something? How about the word "pink"? Or the word "yes"? How about the word "me"?

There is no "I" that can understand (and therefore, of course, no understanding).

"I" can't understand this.

Misunderstanding isn't different than understanding (they both are just appearances).

No one knows. There is just knowing.

There is nothing to understand.

And no one to understand.

These are not just words.

(And yet they are.)

Give up. Let go.

Be. Just be.

It's that simple.

——

Or if you prefer:

Kick off your shoes.
Dance the Dance.

Or leave them on.

Either way,
You are the Dance.

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Q: Why should I bother with the spiritual search?

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